Men Offer the Top Ten Dating Mistakes Women Make

In my quest for greater understanding how Black men and women can form better relationships, I surveyed thirty Black men about what they considered the major dating mistakes women make. These men were not lost for words and were more than happy to offer some advice. Many of them expressed concerns that many Sisters repeat the same poor choices or persistently commit senseless acts that hurt their chances of meeting the right man. I have provided a top-ten list of dating mistakes women should avoid straight out of the horse's mouth.

Here is what the men had to say:

1. Never date a man while you are still emotionally damaged from a previous relationship.

This was the most popular mistake, according to the men. The men want women to know that we have to be in a good place, emotionally, in order to see another man for who he really is, good or bad. Their advice to women is not to date until internal peace has been made from a past relationship gone bad. Quite a few of the men retold dating encounters with Sisters that pretended to be emotionally healthy and say all the things they think men what to hear. However, the act is oftentimes short-lived and these men are left wondering how such a nice woman turned out to be a complete nutcase.

2. Ask the right questions during the early stages of a relationship.

The men wanted women to know that they should not be afraid to ask questions. Some even suggested that the first date was the perfect time to ask about a man?s intentions. Yes, some men will lie, but this can be easily detected by the pace of the relationship. The men warned if a man moves too fast for sex then his intentions are not going to involve anything long-term.

3. Date more than one man.

Many of the men thought it was a big mistake for women to invest all of her time and energy into one man before exclusivity was established. Now, dating more than one man is not synonymous to being sexually intimate with multiple men. It was advised that when women place too much focus on one man, her expectations might exceed what he is willing to offer. In addition, the men admitted to paying closer attention to a woman that communicated she is dating other men.

4. Do not go against your gut instincts.

The men had problems with women that continued to date men that they ?had a feeling? were bad news. They complained to me about some of their female friends that had been warned or just instinctively knew a guy they were dating was not a good choice yet, these women stuck it out until their hearts were broken.

5. Be Happy.

One of the most endearing qualities the men said they admire and look for in women is contentment. A happy woman is inviting but an angry, embittered one is a sure turn off. They advised women not to complain and bring up dark topics on a first date. A first impression is a lasting one.

6. Do not confuse sexual tension with love.

When women feel a sexual chemistry with a man, sometimes the signals get crossed and she may fall prey to believing she is actually in love rather than in lust. Many of the men said they met women that said they were in love with them after only a couple of dates. For some men it is an ego booster but for many others it is a big red flag. They suggested women should take their time and get to know the man they?re dating before becoming sexually intimate.

7. Never date because you are lonely.

It was the opinion of many of the men that loneliness can lead to women making poor choices that will ruin her chances of finding the right man. The men reported experiences with women that attached themselves too quickly and made more of a relationship than what it really was.

8. Do not say anything self-deprecating.

All of the men said they were completely put off by women that constantly made disparaging remarks about themselves. In today?s age of health consciousness and fitness, the men said they have encountered many women that complain about their figures. One guy suggested that these women should stop complaining and start exercising. Men don?t want to hear about a woman?s flaws.

9. Never ignore signs of selfishness.

All of the men wanted women to know that a man?s character flaws will always reveal themselves and they are not to be ignored. If a man seems more interested in talking about himself on a date as opposed to listening and learning about his new companion, then this should definitely not be over looked. They really wanted us to understand that a selfish, insensitive man will not turn into Prince Charming with a simple kiss.

10. For the single mothers, never put a man before your child.

Some of the men had experiences with women that would neglect spending time with their own children in order to sustain the relationship. They agreed that dating women with children is an added challenge due time constraints. But, they respect women that handle their responsibilities as a mother and still made room for the man in her life.

This is not an exhaustive list but it is a good start for women of any race to consider when they are out and about in the dating world. I find it particularly interesting that these pointers come directly from men that have dropped women that committed one or more of these dating infractions. The most basic advice any woman should hold dear is to be herself and use common sense. Dating should be fun and effortless.

This article courtesy of  http://dating.logicbuzz.com.
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